I’m engulled in chaos. It’s rather fun, I must admit. I teach this. I look for it in students work. We must go off the edge in order to discover where the boundaries are. I’ve been there many times and this time, it’s different for some reason. I feel calm and have no expectations around escaping it.
The challenge began with an earlier print that offered a white middle space and an empty two inch space for a border. I felt I needed to find a way to bridge the two spaces…inner and outer…duality at it’s finest. How would you begin to resolve this issue? I want to merge them both literally and metaphorically.
So, I begin with pencil and oil pastels. The center seems so clear and pristine but I keep Diebenkorn’s comments in my head: “The pretty, intital position which falls short of completeness is not to be valued – except as a stimulus for further moves.” It’s easy to sit back and revel in the prettiness of an image and feel satisfied, however this image is an invitation to push myself further.
I managed to fill the space. It wasn’t an easy process because I had to keep reminding myself that it was okay to keep pushing through and that it didn’t matter if I began in the middle or outside but to just keep moving and feeling my way through. I fill the space, merge them yet, it’s still not finished. I’m not an abstract artist, nor do I have any experience with oil Pastels. I bring this abstract onto the iPhone and excavate what seems like a figure in the center.
Not satisfied I print this image and start painting another one. I then merge the new painting and this one and have now ended up with the two below. I shoot the image below and then recomposite it in Leonardo.
I’m wallowing in the mire now, bouncing back and forth with chalk pastels, oil pastels, pencils, photographing it with the iPhone and bringing it back for more layers, printing it again, painting with acrylic… spiralling around some terrible cutouts, poor blends, random marks and feeling rather cathartic about the whole thing. Playfulness, no boundaries, working just for myself…. always a journey towards the psyche.
to be continued…
